Bleeding Salt

I wanted to write in Spanish and I can't. 

I close my eyes, tired and swollen. 

They shake, they tremble... so tired after the waves, the waves of salt.

Taste in my mouth, intense and rotten.

It bleeds, it crumbles... so defeated after the flood, the flood of blood. 

Blood and salt,

Salt and blood. 

Love that fails.

Fail to hope. 

I want to make sense of us. 

Sense of what I want to forget.

Forget what used to make sense. 

Blissful amnesia, never found

Through years of inclement conquers.

Dressed to kill, 

just to be undressed to surrender. 

Surrendering to the enemy,

beneath layers of makeup and layers of lies. 

His lies, not mine. 

But make up always falls,

and the truth always floats. 

I swim in tears of dark mascara

Bleeding from the inside, 

my lips lost the red but my insides are...

Red, red, red.

My red, not his. 

My body feels disjointed, amorphous. 

Sometimes I wonder where I went, 

not even makeup can hide the truth today

the truth of the lost battle and the wounds

But I still hope, hope for love.

Our love, was it even that?

Never to be held,

Never to be owned,

Never to be helped,

Never to be loved.

Without help I swim,

Without love I emerge. 

Without you, do I win?

There is no revenge. 

Floods of tears, 

tears that bleed. 

Lovers that fear,

now are freed.

Farewell, again.

I hope you had a good use of my sincere affection

that your next conquest goes well.

I will remain.

I will remain.

I will remain.